Seeking Charity

“In an effort to understand charity, it is important to know what it is NOT. It is not artificial good cheer. It is not a thin veneer of politeness on a distressed soul. It is not holding our tongues while judging and resenting others. Rather it is a sacred and heavenly gift,” (Goddard, 2009).

Ho can charity apply to marriage. If we look at what Goddard says, I think there are perhaps 2 things to really look at and remember. First is that it is a sacred gift from Heaven. Do you remember one of my earlier posts about about the triangle in marriage. If not, quick recap: Man and wife on base of triangle and Christ at the apex. By using charity, you are drawing you marriage closer to Christ and therefore drawing closer to each other.

I have often heard people ask, “what can I sacrifice to be charitable?” The answer is nothing. In reality, charity shouldn’t be a sacrifice, but a nature about you. The benefit from it is so substantial that any “loss” is overridden.

The next part to consider is “it is not artificial good cheer.” I remember my brother frequently trying to impress our step-dad by doing all of these intense “boy” things, such as football. He pretended to like it, but actually hated it. He would skip practice and play sick at games. It not only made things hard on himself, but those around him and on his team. His effort was to make my step-dad think he was happy when he wasn’t and it made himself more miserable. One day, everything came to a head and my brother got very mad at my step-dad, accusing him of forcing him to do things.

How does that make sense here? My brother’s hard work and effort to do something begrudgingly to make another happy only made everyone mad and upset. In a marriage, this can leave lasting damage and cause more problems.

Doing charity is doing things not for the effect from the recipient, but out of pure love for the other. Next time you think of doing something for your spouse and then wait for their reaction, try instead doing it and waiting for nothing at all. They will more than likely express gratitude, but you heart and spirit will fell more if you just leave it as an “I love you,” and go on with your day.